Write Thinking

Perspectives from a writer & life coach indulging her desire to intersect those two passions

My Photo
Name:
Location: Hoboken, New Jersey, United States

I am a practicing life coach who is currently writing a life coaching column called Game Plan for Foxbusiness.com: http://nancola.com/pages/press.html. I am also working on a book about the power and magic of life coaching.

Friday, March 31, 2006

Dream weaver

I am going to sleep well tonight. I love that feeling. When you just know you are going to hit the pillow hard and you can sleep in to boot.

I have worked hard this week. I have earned a good night's rest. I have had wine this evening.

A perfect formula for dreamy bliss ...

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Sugar rush

A rare craving
deserves
A rare treat

Dinner this evening:
A Cookie Cookie Sunday at Ben & Jerry's
A chocolate chip cookie
Coffee ice cream
A bit of hot fudge
A dash of caramel sauce
A dollop of whipped cream
Some walnuts

A tall glass of water

Craving satiated.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Black and white

There is a framed print in my living room on the east wall. It is a black and white photograph of the World Trade Center shot from what appears to be Jersey City. There is a sort of optical illusion to it, as it looks like the towers are at the end of a long pier jutting out from the New Jersey side of the Hudson River. The pier and the river are prominent in the foreground.

I treasure this print, as I bought it on September 11, 2001, on my way home from that staggering day in Manhattan. As I look at it now, it makes me more introspective than sad. My how things have changed on every conceivable level since the day those towers fell. It has affected us personally, locally, nationally, internationally.

I think this all comes to mind so strongly now because in the last week I have written a piece honoring a former professor that put me in a place of reflection, plus there was a very compelling story about 9/11 conspiracy theories in New York magazine. It's all been swirling around in my head. Destruction. Rebirth. Disaster. Epiphany. Profound sadness. Profound joy. Pessimism. Optimism.

Questions. Not enough answers.

Monday, March 27, 2006

Those HBO Sundays

The Sopranos this season. What to say? So good. The characters are so well-drawn. The drama is riveting. The scenes that are likely not supposed to be funny are making me laugh out loud, something I attribute to being an Italian from New Jersey. Mob stuff aside, I've seen it all before. The whiners, the attention stealers, the sweet facade with the hypocrisy underneath, the hospital vigils, the obsession with food, the guilt, the blaming, the stress. All in the name of family. And somehow it's a hoot to watch.

Last night's episode alone, I would be hard-pressed to pick a favorite scene. But I'd probably go with Paulie Walnuts -- after pointedly being told by Meadow to stay positive while talking to comatose Tony -- talking about his own ass aches so incessantly that he puts Tony into cardiac arrest. TV drama? Hardly. I know people capable of that.

That's entertainment.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Rich routine

It's been one of those days I really like for its balance of routine and spontaneity. A solid workout at the gym. A meditative session with my notebook and a cup of coconut-flavored coffee (it's back for spring!). An exhilarating spiritual experience at church. A spontaneous cup of tea afterward with a fellow writer who seems to share my zest for living richly. A plate of whole wheat pasta with portobello mushroom sauce. A few satisfying hours of work on the computer.

The day will culminate shortly in a kick-back-on-the-couch hour with The Sopranos.

Underneath it all, a feeling I am embarking on a crisp, fresh start.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Sweet flight

I booked a flight to Paris today and I am beside myself with glee. There will be cafes and there will be wine and there will be art and there will be cheese and there will be flea markets. And there will be a train to Provence, a perfect little getaway that promises aesthetic delights and, well, adventure.

Who could ask for anything more?

Pas moi.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Weeded garden

If indeed our lives are like gardens and there are times when our garden is filled with weeds, then I am in one of those phases where the weeds have been cleared so the plants and flowers can thrive. A last, stubborn weed has been pulled from its persistent, resistent little roots. That sucker had grown so tall. It had looked like the sweetest of flowers when it first started to grow, but eventually showed itself to be too domineering for this landscape.

Now the sunlight is reaching all the right spots. The water and nutrients, too.

Growth ensues.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Welcome mat

Today I found out what it's like to fully and unabashedly welcome people into my home who do not welcome me into theirs.

It feels good at a soul level to stay true to my way of being. To not lock someone out based on their actions to me, but decide what I'm comfortable doing separate from any of that.

It is about being who I am at my core. It is about emotional health.

I celebrate my spirit.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Charlie Brown

So my channel surfing brings me to Charlie Brown this evening. Go figure. Haven't watched him since childhood, but here I am. He's an exchange student, along with Linus, Peppermint Patty and Marcy, and they're going to France. I had forgotten how funny Snoopy is. He packs a pile of suitcases, dons a beret and surprises everyone by flying first class.

I've never been crazy about animation, but I find myself tuning in on occasion. I thoroughly enjoyed Finding Nemo and the choreography in Shark Tale is just fun to watch.

As I write this, Charlie Brown and Co. are in Britain checking out the countryside and boarding a boat to France. Time for me to chill and get transported ...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Cookie wisdom

Satiated a craving for some fried rice. My fortune cookie reads:

You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.

Hmmmmmmmm ...

Monday, March 20, 2006

Sweat equity

I've been working really, really hard lately.

Just thought I'd acknowledge myself for it.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Partaking of the feast

Today a minister told a story of unknowingly going to a black tie affair in khaki pants and a sweater at a lush Fifth Avenue penthouse. After hiding himself in a corner at the beginning of the party, he decided he needed to be present and mingle and engage in the fabulous people and the amazing banquet before him. Soon it was as if the clothes issue disappeared and he wound up enjoying himself immensely.

The lesson, of course, is that we need not wait until we think we are properly attired, successful enough, thin enough, schooled enough, spiritual enough to get in the game. It's inviting us and it's up to us to accept the invitation. We hold ourselves back for scores of reasons. But the key is, we hold ourselves back.

Boy, did this resonate with me on a lot of fronts. I am in the game. I have put myself there. I don't need a better handbag or a perfectly maintained house to be more qualified to participate in life. I can do that now.

I am. And so it is.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

My inner wordsmith

I am editing a book for a first-time author who is self-publishing. What a pleasure of a project. She is so smart and driven and passionate about her work.

Editing really puts me in my wordsmith mode. When good writing mostly flows and then something stops me as a reader, it is a wonderful challenge to explore how to best make it clear and effective without losing the writer's voice or style. In addition to using well-honed editing skills, it is really about tapping into how I want to be treated as a writer, how much thought and craft I want devoted to polishing my own art.

It is an opportunity to put the shoe on the other foot, so to speak. I really like that.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Real living

I want to take all the people in the world who know how to live and gather them up to teach the rest of the world. This is what I felt watching the new Chefography series on the Food Network; it was the one featuring Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa.

This woman has it going on. I already knew she was writing energy policy in the White House before deciding there had to be more to life. That resulted in her buying a gourmet food store in The Hamptons. What I didn't know was that she knew nothing about running that kind of store, had taught herself to cook and entertain after getting married because her mother never let her, and didn't know what to do with herself after eventually selling the gourmet store.

When her husband suggested she write a cookbook, she went about it reluctantly but it soon turned to fervently. Her books have sold like crazy. Her show is unique because the two producers who cooked up the idea of doing it in her home promised her it would be fun. And it is.

My favorite part of the show may have been when Ina laughingly said she's always felt if something doesn't keep her up at night it's not worth doing. I so relate to that thirst for a constant challenge.

For me it's the only way to live.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Asterisk

So I am, as usual, enjoying the heck out of my O magazine. And then I get to page 129 in the April issue, which incidentally has the theme, "beauty." It's a Jenny Craig ad with a really wonderful picture of Kirstie Alley showing off her admirable weight loss in a pale gold slip dress.

Here's what the text says:
I've lost 60 pounds* (and still counting).

Now maybe I'm the only person in America who cares about that asterisk, but I zeroed in on it right away. Don't mess with my editor's eye. Down in the right corner of the page it says, "*Results not typical."

Say what? Then why the hell put her out there like she is? Why isn't she typical? What is she doing differently? If she's losing more weight on the plan than most people or at a faster rate, shouldn't consumers get the whole picture?

I'm all for people losing weight and getting healthy. I wish Kirstie Alley nothing but the best. But I vehemently object to half truths when convincing people you are an example.

Not cool.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

My skyline

I walked the five blocks to my home along the waterfront this evening. It was that exact perfect time when the sun was setting and therefore casting a beautiful light on the buildings in Manhattan. With the dark blue tones in the sky and river at that particular point, the skyline appeared to be glowing.

I have seen this many times in my 7-1/2 years here and yet it still makes me catch my breath. Manhattan all aglow. What a wonder.

Every day I am grateful that I live here. Every day.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Walk The Line

I rented Walk The Line over the weekend and watched it with Mom. It was another in a seemingly endless line of things I've watched rather reluctantly on Mom's recommendation that I wound up liking. In fact, I liked it a lot.

It's not just that the acting was good. I've never been a Johnny Cash fan and I knew very little about him or his life. But what a story. He and June Carter were one of those couples that just had that pull between them. Years of wrangling and fretting led them to finally coming together and building a life. This in spite of their marriages to others and his addiction issues.

So often we hear of one person in a couple not supporting the dreams and passions of the other. There's no belief, no deep down faith. Johnny Cash's first wife wanted the conventional -- the family, the house, the man who was home every night. That his music was an integral part of who he was mattered little to her.

But June Carter fell in love with the man he was. She was in it for the long haul. It was beautiful, really. Quality entertainment. Thought provoking. Real.

Once again, Mother knows best.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Soul search

My mind is swirling, swirling, swirling. I have a situation. I have weighed it from all sides. I have done some very deep soul searching about it. It's going to go one way or another -- a new start? a lesson?

I have made peace with both. Let the chips fall where they may.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Sunday night

Came home from a weekend with family, settled into my couch ready for some relaxing TV. The kind where there's no commercials so I don't get up and do other things at the same time (this blog post notwithstanding).

Reeling a bit from The Sopranos. Head is spinning from this new polygamy show.

Does this really happen in America? I mean, I know intellectually that the mob exists and that there is polygamy. But honest to God, it's a bit mind-blowing to watch. The creepy dynamics. The multi layers. The overall dysfunction.

Feels like the beginning of an entertainment journey.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Fields of lavender

I am having ongoing visions of lavender fields. As far as the eye can see.

It all began with a magazine called France Guide 2006 and a story in it about Paul Cezanne. It is, apparently, the Year of Cezanne in France, marking the 100-year anniversary of his death. He was born in Aix-en-Provence and, according to the article, "didn't have to go looking for color. He was born under the sun, surrounded by buttercup-yellow houses and blue sky."

And then there is the photo of the lavender. Rows and rows of it around a majestic tree, the sunlight hitting one small strip and making it almost glow. Imagine the heady scent in the air.

Beauty in a foreign land. Sweet.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Lightness of being

I'm ready to wear my spring clothes.
Swingy skirts, light jackets, infusions of color.
Shoes that give my walk a dash more confidence.
The feel of my hair on my shoulders.

Oh yeah.
Bring on the sunshine.
I'm ready to travel light.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Rose of Jericho

A year ago September, a friend bought me what he called a rose. It was not the conventional flower that goes by that name, but a dried ball that looked like a piece of evergreen that had died. My friend instructed me to put it in water and watch what happens and so I did. It came to life, got its rich green color back.

So for about a year and a half, it's been thriving in water in a shallow ceramic bowl on my kitchen table. While it has lived well in that environment, it hit me last weekend while I was purging my apartment that it needed a change. I came across this fat glass vase and suddenly I had a vision. I put blue aquarium glass on the bottom and then put the rose in there, sort of suspended in water. It is sitting on my window sill and it looks beautiful when the sunlight filters through it. Now it can expand in all directions. It is not limited by the flat surface it sat on before.

This all prompted me to do a little research on what the rose means. I found out it is actually called a Rose of Jericho, also known as the Resurrection flower. It is a desert plant growing in the sands of Egypt, Arabia, Syria and Mexico. Here's how the story goes, as explained by a website called azarius.net and another called mushroomgallery.html:

"For long periods, these 'roses' live in desert regions, growing and reproducing as any other plant until the environment no longer supports an adequate existence. When this time has come, the flowers and leaves are dead and fallen, they lose moisture and the drying branches curl inwards, forming a round ball. They retract their roots from the soil and allow the desert winds to carry them across the desert, until one day they arrive in a damp place where they can continue to grow and spread. The ball then expands again, opens flat on the ground and deposits its seeds, which germinate. Once watered, the dried-up looking young plants soon begin to bud. You could say they feel their way through this process, as they don't necessarily remain in the first place they stop, but feel into the nature of the place to see if it is adequate to enhance growth. There they may stay, and grow, or indeed they may move again many times."

"The Rose of Jericho is used in rituals of voodoo and Cuban santeria to generate love, luck and money. It brings peace, power and abundance. It is a rare magical commodity, sought in the Holy Land by pilgrims as a holy relic. The amazing Resurrection Plant is a marvelous example of Nature's Wonders and can serve as a Living Symbol of one's faith and confidence in Nature's Power to resurrect and bring life to what seems dead and lifeless. It is said that you will have all the blessings life can bring, if the plant, or a piece of it is kept in the home in a bowl of water."

A sustaining gift of love. I feel blessed.

Monday, March 06, 2006

Letter to the editor

Two weeks ago New York magazine ran a series of articles around the theme, "Change your life." What life coach can resist that credo? Especially when it offers suggestions ranging from the practical (Open a boutique) to the nearly zany (Become an expat).

I enjoyed it enough to send a letter to the editor and, much to my delight, they printed it. It's in this week's "Best of New York" issue:

http://newyorkmetro.com/nymag/letters/16395/

Sunday, March 05, 2006

King Karl

I'm a few issues behind in New York magazine, so this morning I was up early and decided to ease into the day with some light reading. I'm not sure why this piece of dialogue amused me so. All I know is that Karl Lagerfeld has been on my radar this week because all this apartment purging I've been doing produced a pair of Lagerfeld loafers I hadn't worn in years.

“In the whole world, there is nowhere I can go,” says Lagerfeld in a tone that should have him fluttering that old fan. “Everybody has a camera, and it is flash-flash-flash, and I am a puppet, a marionette, Mickey at Disneyland for children to play with. In Japan, they touch me. I have Japanese women pinch my ass, so now I must say, ‘You can have the photo, but please don’t touch me.’ You cannot pinch the ass of a man my age! And I cannot go out without something for my eyes, because someone might throw chemicals in my face, and I would be like my childhood French teacher whose wife burnt him with acid, Mr. Pommes-Frites, can you believe the name. I can cross the street nowhere in the world, I can never go into a shop. Oh, it’s horrible, horrible.” Lagerfeld, the master of the contrapuntal, grins a bit and then whispers, “In fact, I do like it. It’s very flattering, and very fun.”

A refreshing kind of honesty, yes? A genius of fashion and a bit of a cut-up as well. I've already worn the black (of course!) loafers with the silver-plated heel twice this week. Best I can recall is that I bought them in the early 1990s. Now that's a timeless purchase.

Classic.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Fresh face

The purging of my apartment continued today. What joy. More bags out the door to the trash, to charity. One drawer leads to another, which leads to a closet, which leads to a cabinet. I've rearranged candles and centerpieces, tweaked this and that. What an amazing feeling.

There is air and space and calm and order. A new bunch of eucalyptus in the bedroom (only $3.99!) makes it fresh and fills a space beautifully.

I love my things, my colors, my choices. Rock on.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Eating well

I tried a different approach with this annoying head cold I picked up this week. Usually when I feel under the weather I indulge my cravings for chicken soup, crackers, breads and all forms of comfort food that I don't normally eat.

This time, no. I bucked the cravings all the way. Instead, grilled chicken with lemony spinach and garlic risotto. A lemon pepper tuna steak with a big salad. Lots of fruit.

What a difference! I'm still congested and have a bit of a lingering headache, but I don't have the gross feeling that usually follows eating all those carbs.

Ahhhhhh ...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

The balm

Feeling under the weather. But The Parent Trap is airing on ABC Family and that's a bit of a salve. What is it about that darned movie that I can't turn it off?

Well, there's the obvious -- Dennis Quaid is smashing in it. And it's a chance to see the pre-Page Six version of Lindsay Lohan, who does a heckuva job playing twins.

But OK, it's really about the fact that it plays perfectly to my sappy side. It's an amusing story. It has a sweet resolution. The ending not only wraps up quite nicely, but it's like it has a pretty pink bow on top.

And who doesn't like a nicely wrapped gift?

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Resolution

Tonight during a life coaching session my client mentioned her Lenten resolution:

Be kind.

Yes, that'll do just fine.