Good intentions

In the last 24 hours I've put out three intentions, prayers if you will, in my morning pages. All three were answered within the span of a few hours.

I love how that works.

My prepared mind

When we were assigned to write a limerick in sixth grade, mine included a reference to France. OK, I'll even share it:

There was an old lady from France
Who needed to know how to dance
She twisted and turned
But never learned
Until she put ants in her pants.

I took four years of high school French and then two semesters in college.

I have an Eiffel Tower ornament for my Christmas tree that I keep in my living room all year round.

I have an Eiffel Tower postcard by my desk. A friend brought it back from Paris last year at my request.

Last summer a friend and I talked about going to Paris. He gave me three books -- The Cafes of Paris, France's Best-Loved Driving Tours and Let's Go Map Guide Paris.

I have a coffee table book called The Paris Apartment filled with dreamy pictures and fun tidbits about how to make a room evoke Paris. There are five pictures in a sort of montage hanging above my bed -- three of them are French. Another French picture hangs next to my dresser.

Yikes, shall I go on? I'm obsessed, yes?

Tonight a friend and I were having margaritas in a Mexican restaurant. The people next to us were speaking French, not exactly the norm in Hoboken.

I just recently wrote a post called "French Fancy" listing all sorts of synchronicity on this topic.

The point of all this? Opportunity may be meeting the prepared mind.

Stay tuned ...

Still

It's been a pondering kind of weekend. I'm not sure why. But thoughts have been racing through my head like crazy. All over the place.

Tomorrow I will be still. My spirit deserves it.

WWED?

A little too much wine last night. So rare that I skip a blogging day.

Today I head out of town, Erica Kane book in tow. (See "Special Delivery" post from a few days ago.) It brings me to a place where Pine Valley is real, the fictional people I watched back in the 80s are genuine fodder for reflection, and some of the wisdom she imparts sounds eerily like my New Thought minister. In given situations, I may just start asking myself, WWED -- What Would Erica Do? Ha Ha.

The giver of the gift is still a mystery. So I like to think of it as the Universe sending me a message that is still to be determined.

Special delivery

So I get a postcard in my mailbox last Friday telling me there's a package waiting for me at the post office. I couldn't get there right away and then I forgot about it until this morning. So I strolled over there on my way to the gym and the clerk handed me a manila envelope with a book in it.

I opened it with great curiosity only to find no card or note. There was a return address (Elizabeth, N.J.) on the envelope, but no name. I don't know anyone in that city, so I called my brother and left him a message. Then I called my sister and she couldn't shed any light on it.

But here's the funny part. The book itself. An excerpt:

Oscar Wilde, the aptly named and justly famous playwright, said, "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance." That is genius. My personal love affair with myself has been the most satisfying relationship I've ever had, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I think I'm the most glorious human being ever born.

Love is the most important thing there is. It's my reason for living, the motivation for everything I do.

All love begins with self-love, psychiatrists say, and on that score, at least, I believe them. It makes sense! How can you love someone else if you don't love yourself? Much less Have It ALL?

The book? Are you ready? It's called Having It All by Erica Kane. That's right, Erica Kane. A fictional daytime soap character. While there are photos of Susan Lucci on the cover and all through the book, there is not a mention of her name anywhere. It's all from Erica Kane's first-person point of view. She talks about the characters on All My Children -- her mother, ex-husbands, etc. -- as if they're real. What a hoot.

Who in the world sent me this book? It seems like someone who really knows me. He or she knew I'd glom onto the title, that I'd find the whole idea funny but meaningful.

On my way home from work, I was walking on Sixth Ave. toward the subway when I found a $20 bill on the sidewalk. Another mystery. Another gift.

Life is just dishing those out lately.

Coaching cheer

I'm looking at a glass vase with fresh flowers. I don't know much about flowers so I'm not sure what kind they are, but they're a gorgeous turquoise and purple combination. In fact, they're the flowers I eye up in the store and never splurge on.

They were given to me by a coaching client tonight. We had our last session in a 12-week series and she wanted to thank me. She'd worked on four goals and on a scale of 1-10 ended up with these numbers -- 8.5, 10, 9, 8.5. How phenomenal is that? Do I love this job?

The coach in me is ready for some revving up again. This week I'm finishing with three clients, all of whom are dynamic, accomplished and well on their way to sweeping changes in their lives.

I feel like I'm in a place to attract that caliber of client again. And so it shall be.

Words about work

I picked up a postcard from a Manhattan restaurant the other day. It's one in a series with quotes about the meaning and value of work. Here's what it says:

It keeps me in touch,
this job of mine,
to dreams and plans,
and the future.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Young writer

I keep thinking about a conversation I had with my sister's friend on Saturday. She was telling me how her son, who just made his Holy Communion, loves to write. He so loves it that one recent morning when his mother told him it was raining outside and that Field Day at school would probably be cancelled, he said, "Yessssss!" She questioned him and he said the teacher had told them they'd be working on their writing all afternoon if Field Day was cancelled.

Two of the best books that address writing -- The Artist's Way and If You Want To Write -- tell us as adults to try to recapture that blissfully creative place we experienced in childhood. We created without thinking about marketability and we weren't weighed down with self-consciousness.

I love the idea of a little boy writing and writing and treasuring the time he gets to do it. It warms my heart.

Simple truth

I manifested the perfect day today.

Sometimes it's important for me to remember that I have that power.

New stuff

Met my sister and a dear friend for a full day of shopping in Manhattan. It was fabulous. The bustle. The ooh-ing and ah-ing over all the brilliant colors and embellished styles we saw. They were weighed down with shopping bags by the time they boarded a train headed back to the suburbs.

I made a few very selective purchases based on need (?!). In essence, I succeeded in stretching the clothes I already have by adding in a few tops that mix and match. I already did a little fashion show in front of my mirror and I'm quite impressed with myself. Color galore. No black. Can go from saucy to sassy with the change of a shoe. Yum.

On what may very well be an urelated note, I am feeling like tomorrow is the first day of the rest of my life. Something about renewal. A need for a jolt.

OK then.

My glass of wine

I drank an exquisite glass of wine tonight. A Reisling. Crisp. Chilled just right. In a fabulous glass that felt just right in the hand.

I savored every sip. It went down so, so easily. Truly an experience.

The person I was supposed to meet didn't show up.

The wine was so good that I didn't even care.

Mom wisdom

I needed to vent about life this evening. So I called my mother. Let's just say I had a hunch and my fingers dialed her number as soon as I walked in the door after work.

"You know what it is, Nan? You think you need to be happy every minute of every day," she said after my little rant. She said it just like it was a throwaway line. Man, did it make me think.

Here's the thing. She's right. I do think that. And, honestly, I like that I think that. I believe it's a terrific attitude to have in life. However, I knew she was alluding to another shade of meaning. In other words, "Relax, babe, you're just experiencing a moment. Truly, it's a blip in time. You'll be happy again in no time."

So right, Mom. So, so right. Deep breath. Thank you.

Chalk it up

I went and had an impromptu bite to eat with a friend after work. Simple, straightforward, right?

Nope.

I had planned to come home and write. I knew when the words came out of my mouth suggesting dinner that it was self-sabotage.

Sometimes I'm a pro at that.

Clothes course

I'm so into clothes these days. It's been a while since I cared this much. You know, accessorizing right down to the scarf and pin. For so long we were back to the basics -- black, black and more black. Now I won't wear head to toe black without a splash of color, either a vibrant scarf or maybe my pink croc bag. It's all so girly.

I think this goes in waves with me. Right now it's a daily challenge to go in my closet and mesh the old and new, a fabulously fun expression of creativity. Last week I wore a pin that looks like a tube of red lipstick. It's from the gaudy 80s and I wouldn't have been caught dead wearing it two years ago. Now it seems vintage, kicky.

Hmmmmmm. What shall I don tomorrow?

Metaphor

Imagine someone gives you a colorful gift bag with tissue paper spilling out the sides. You excitedly dip your hand in and unwrap a beautiful red pen that seems as if it's sculpted to fit your hand. You've never imagined something so simple could bring you such enjoyment.

You then throw the gift bag in the trash. You give the pen a prominent spot on your desk and derive great pleasure from writing with it every day.

Unbeknownst to you, there was another item in the gift bag. It was a rich leather bound journal embossed with your initials. There's a little spot inside that would house your gorgeous pen. The pages are smooth to the touch, just waiting for your thoughts.

You never find out about the journal because you never dig into the gift bag. You settle for what is immediately available to you on the surface.

How does that make you feel?

Nature's show

I love the commercial where the father walks into the house at night and the wife and all the kids are glued to the TV. The next thing you know they're all piled into an SUV. He drives them through the woods to a secluded spot and they huddle together and look at the stars, which just happen to be putting on a fabulous show of their own.

Good stuff. Just thought I'd mention it.

Sweet Saturday

When I woke up this morning, I felt very refreshed and decided to let the day be organic. Yes, my home needed cleaning and my book needed writing. But the weather was so darned perfect that I couldn't treat it lightly. Sunny but with a cool breeze. Being in the moment meant immersing myself in that.

Packed a bag for the gym, including my morning pages notebook and a book called Plan B by Anne Lamott. Worked out, mostly lower body on the weight machines. Enjoyed a large cup of coconut coffee while I wrote my morning pages. Sat on a bench at the waterfront and read the book in a purely picturesque setting -- sunshine, clear skies, the Manhattan skyline. Some highlights:

" ... when you pray, you are not starting the conversation from scratch, just remembering to plug back into a conversation that's always in progress."

"When God is going to do something wonderful, He or She always starts with a hardship; when God is going to do something amazing, He or She starts with an impossibility."

I had earlier put a call in to a friend asking if he was interested in grabbing some breakfast before heading into whatever he had planned for the day. He called back as I sat on the bench. I told him it was so perfect outside that we should walk to the diner (about 12 blocks). And so we did. Had eggs and pancakes and bacon. Leisurely, meaningful conversation. Reality vs. simulation.

We meandered back. Decided to sit in a cafe and read/work for a bit. That's what's so good about our friendship. We can just be sometimes. It's easy. He got up to refill his coffee and an elderly woman approached me as I sat in the booth alone. She said, "I had to tell you how relaxed you look and how much I admire that. I need to relax more. You have such peace about you." I thanked her profusely. She asked what I was working on. I told her I was going through my journals looking for material for my book. She marveled at that. "Are you married?" she asked. I shook my head. She said, "That's why you have peace." Her husband then came by, as their food order was ready. My friend returned with a knowing smile and asked, "What did the Universe have to say in the form of that woman?" I told him. We both laughed, as I had just talked to him about peace and incorporating it into my book.

This all reminds me of a funny little philosophy I have that so sharply differs from most of the women in my extended family. It goes like this: If my house is too clean, there's something in life I'm missing out on.

How true that is today. My living room needs to be dusted and my bathroom wiped down. But I wouldn't trade one minute of my day for a spiffy house. How very sad that would be.

Hair

I hadn't had a hair cut and color since the fall and was in desperate need of both. My hair had gotten an out of control, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm look to it. A friend recommended her stylist and friend, who works from her home.

What pure joy! I walked out of there feeling like a million bucks. My unstyled, frizzy long hair had given way to styled, silky long hair with fabulous flair. She laughed when I gave her loose directions -- "I want controlled chaos" -- because she knew just what I meant.

As if all of that wasn't enough of a treat, she also played around with some makeup tricks while the color was processing in my hair. Who knew what a little navy blue eye shadow could do?

Suffice to say I went to work feeling like a hottie. Yeeha.

Question of the day

How bad do you want the dream, Nancy?

French fancy

I'm working in a place that sublets apartments in New York, Paris, London and the South of France. A huge poster of the latter -- specifically, a gorgeous mountain surrounded by a field of flowers -- stares at me as I sit at my desk. I am constantly amidst French speaking people there.

On Sunday I was watching a Baby Einstein DVD with my nephew and the next thing I knew they were reciting the alphabet in French.

Yesterday I was walking back from the grocery store and two men were walking and talking next to me. As they passed, one said to the other, "So why don't you just learn French?"

Tonight I return from dinner with a friend, turn on the TV, and flip to Sex and the City. I'm just in time to see Carrie jumping for joy at the sight of the Eiffel Tower from her hotel room balcony.

Now what do you suppose the Universe is trying to tell me?

Pointy black mules

I was being pulled to Century 21 today. That's the discount department store extraordinaire, not the real estate company. I'm starting a new job tomorrow and I needed a new pair of shoes that would take my wardrobe into spring with a bit of flair.

This was the fantasy (intention?) on the way to the store: black pointy mules, kitten heels, preferably designer, under $50.

This was the reality in the store: sleek BCBG pointy mules, black-on-black letter logo design, kitten heels, $49.99.

The was the feeling on the way out of the store, shopping bag in tow: Yeehaaaa. Life is so darned good.

Simon Birch

My mother has been talking about the movie Simon Birch for a while. Every so often when I'm visiting she suggests we watch it. Frankly, I usually scoff at the idea. I'm not sure why. I have just never had a desire to watch this movie.

But today there was something different happening when she suggested it. Yes, it's Mother's Day. But also, it was what she said. "You would like it. I'm telling you. It's about having a purpose in life." I stopped scoffing and relented. And what a wonderful story it turned out to be.

A wise-cracking, undersized little boy has unwavering faith that God is working through him. It was poignant, sweet and funny.

I guess mother does know best.

Family time

I'm at Leisure Village for the weekend, visiting Mom for Mother's Day. Dad took me to lunch. Then Mom and I went shopping at Macy's and I made out like a bandit. Skirts are so in -- I'm a girl again!

Then my brother and sister-in-law came to visit with my 3-year-old nephew. The child is a wonder. He reads words he has no business figuring out at his age. He carries a Pecan Sandie around like it's a little piece of treasure. His smile could melt you in an instant because it comes out of nowhere and exudes pure delight.

All good stuff.

I am

I am prosperous.

Can you say that and mean it? Across the board? Emotionally, financially, spiritually?

I am prosperous.

Is it sinking in yet?

I am prosperous.

Isn't it terrific?

I am prosperous.

Wear it.

I am prosperous.

Of course you are.

I am prosperous.

Just say 'Thank You.'

Life's moments

I had a delightful conversation this evening. I love clicking with a person on a myriad of topics, in this case creativity, goals, spirituality, books, boundaries.

Rebecca and I met through The Artist's Way and we've made a point of getting together and catching up every so often. Today we sat on a couch and had tea in a cozy cafe. Conversation flowed. It was easy.

These are moments in life that are meaningful to me.

Outer beauty

I have spent an awful lot of time cultivating my "inner beauty" lately. I think it's time to address my exterior, perhaps with a mini makeover:

Hair cut and color
Manicure and pedicure
Massage
Brow shaping
A pair of sassy shoes
A skirt
A pair of dangly earrings

Fabulous idea. Can't wait to get started.

Manifestation

I went into Manhattan today to have lunch with a friend. She treated, much to my surprise and delight. I left her office with 11 free books on spirituality. Then I went to visit another friend. I came home with a job.

In the last week and a half, the Universe has given me a pair of blue boots, two sash scarves in warm pink tones, and a red DKNY winter jacket. A friend made me a delicious dinner.

I have also received a great deal of clarity around some important issues.

All gifts.

What must I be putting out to be receiving all of this? Wow.

Spiritual connection

I had lunch with a former co-worker today. I hadn't seen her in a few years. As we caught up on things, she mentioned she is into Kabbalah. I immediately sat up a little straighter and engaged a little more. The rest of our conversation was about spiritual practice, growth and the paths we've taken in those areas.

At a time when so many of us are shy about revealing too much about our religion or spirituality, so as to not impose it, it was a welcome hour of connecting on a real level.

Methinks we'll be connecting a lot more.

Beautiful change

Often I have a hard time with change. Today the Sacred Center for Spiritual Living had its Sunday service in a new location. It was tough for me to say good-bye to the old place last week, as I have undergone much spiritual growth while attending church there the past year-plus.

Perhaps that's why it was so validating for me to hear the minister say just that in her sermon today. She was nervous while putting on her makeup this morning just thinking about being in a new place and she chided herself for it. Wonderful stuff. Human stuff.

So the new place is grand. Until our new home is ready in September, we'll have the pleasure of being at the Pratt Mansions on Fifth Ave. across from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It's a beautiful part of the city to stroll. The mansion itself has winding staircases and old character.

Seems like a fabulous setting in which to celebrate and grow.