Giving it up

Last week in the class I'm taking we talked about surrender. It's a spiritual class centered around prosperity. I absorbed the lesson like a sponge, particularly because I feel like it's one I'm just learning to practice in my life.

A few days later, my 12-week Artist's Way class ended and the final chapter had a bit about surrender. Very synchronous.

The next day, I emailed my monthly newsletter. I wrote a message about -- you guessed it -- surrender. How it has such a negative connotation in our society but that it has its place and merits.

Yesterday I went to church and before the service was chatting with a guy I've become friendly with. He's a tarot card reader and just a sweet, sweet person. He told me I was in his meditation this week, that he saw two sumo wrestlers going at it and that they kept getting heavier and heavier the more they wrestled. He said, "Nancy, please stop wrestling with whatever it is you're wrestling with." I was a bit stunned, but then smiled and asked if he'd seen the theme of my newsletter. He hadn't. I told him it was about surrendering. Then he smiled.

This morning I was reading Life of Pi on my way to an appointment in the city. A boy and a bengal tiger are on a lifeboat in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The story is simply amazing. What he does to survive is mindblowing. Suffice to say there is a whole lot of surrendering going on.

I came home and made a phone call I've been wrestling with. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering around like mad. I dialed the number. I surrendered. I spoke my plain truth. The person on the other end was gloriously receptive, understanding and kind.

I hung up the phone and cried for what felt like an eternity. Pure joy.